Archive for the ‘The Original 30 Day Smiling Experiment’ Category
Well, this was the last day of this experiment, and it sure started out in a not-so-smiley way! My morning cup of coffee tasted like soap, which then gave me an upset stomach. This was followed up by my wife’s requests to fix the dishwasher. And meanwhile, I had a pile of work to do! So no, I was not smiling at the start of the day! But, after running some de-limer through the machine (which only took a few minutes to set up) and getting the dishwasher situation straightened out, things got a bit better!
This was a smiling-at-family day. The results were consistent with past results. In summary – It Works! All-around moods are better in the household. I wish I had video of before and after this experiment because I am certain that this household is a happier place now!
I paid a visit to my father-in-law and mother-in-law. Again, smiles to my mother-in-law communicated something to her that words somehow can not do.
Also, smiled at my oldest teen, but it seemed difficult to get much of any reaction from him this day.
Perhaps the most important thing I learned from this experiment is that:
People that seem to smile the least will benefit the most from your smile.
Somehow, some way, I must continue this experiment indefinitely. I plan to post periodic updates from time to time.
On this day, there was a unique situation that presented somewhat of a potential danger to both myself and the people I was around at the moment. (I can’t go into details) At any rate, it made smiling for both myself and those around me a bit challenging.
Otherwise, at my place of work, I smiled at colleagues and the reaction was positive. I think people are starting to accept the idea that I smile all the time now. Frankly, I like the whole scene since it is allowing me to make some new friends.
Smiled with and at family members. This continues to be a great thing. My oldest even bothered to tell me that he got an “A” on a test he just took – I think this is working!
This day started off really slow. Working from home is always challenging to get the smiles in. I had a lot of online assignments to correct on this day and it can be hard to smile when busy like this. But I made up for it later in the day. I surprised my wife by cheerfully agreeing (with a smile) to buy the new silverware set on sale that she wants – we do need some silverware since our old stuff has mysteriously been disappearing (kids).
My youngest daughter, age 8, continues to respond very positively to the smiling – she will want a hug many times when I smile at her! And, I have noticed that this daughter seems happier overall. She used to cry and complain over the littlest things but now she seems more content. That alone is well worth the effort of this experiment.
Tomorrow brings more interactions with the outside world. Only two more days!
This day featured some interesting events at work. A very shy somewhat introverted (and very intelligent) fellow at work now seems to be one of my better friends there. It almost seems as if my smiling opened up communications greatly. He is the type that will be “seemingly miles away” at times, pondering on some new idea. And truthfully, I can be like that as well! But the smiles serve as a way to communicate – a way to cut through that distraction. Also, I noticed that another fellow that seemed to be sort of lukewarm toward me is now much friendlier.
Smiles will cut through distractions!
Another interesting event occurring at work was when I walked past and greeted a coworker (that I don’t hardly know but often see) on the way to my class. This person had a grimace on their face. And it almost appeared to be permanently in place! I remember when I was a kid my mom warned me not to contort my face in this goofy way I was doing as it would stay that way – through coincidence or something else, I had on this goofy expression in my school photo! At any rate, I stopped making that crazy face! Could grimacing all the time also become a permanent look? For sure I think the negative feelings leading to the grimace could become somewhat permanent.
In my classroom, I found it easier than ever to smile at and with my students, despite the hectic pace to finish our material before semester’s end. It was an enjoyable time of teaching.
Wow, for some reason it was just kind of hard to smile this day! But I tried. I visited a local bank and got in a smile at the teller, although she first gave me a big smile. There is another teller at this same bank that does not smile at all at anybody. What a difference! I smiled as much as possible with the family, although some of the kids were misbehaving, making it difficult to do so. As I said before, smile when you can . . .
I guess one significant thing related to this experiment was something I realized about my mother-in-law. I never mentioned this but she is nearly deaf but a smile was able to get through that barrier. In fact, that is all that was needed. I would bet a smile could also help you in a foreign land where nobody spoke your language as well. I would conclude that
A smile is a universal communication tool. It cuts across all language barriers and speaks volumes where words can not be spoken.
On this day our entire family, and inlaws, attended a community theater production. Generally, at such functions, most all people are in a fairly smiley mood, and this was no different. There was one person, however, that in the past has seemed a bit aloof toward me. Truthfully, I always assumed that this person did not like me for some reason. But on this day, I greeted this person with a smile, by name and this person cheerfully returned a smile. Once again, I believe I found a person with my same mindset (before this experiment) – they don’t smile because they believe the other person does not care for them – in return the other person leaves them alone. The vicious cycle. Through this experiment I learned a valuable lesson:
Never assume a person that appears unfriendly and does not smile or greet you does not like you. It may be that they think you don’t like them. Give them a smile and a greeting by name and you will see how quickly this situation can turn around!
I stopped by our nearby small town auto parts store today. This store is owned by perhaps the most unsmiley person on the face of the earth! There was even a time once where this owner’s unfriendly behavior (and unwillingness to serve me) caused me to leave the store. So this would be the acid test. Would smiling work? I noticed that another fellow was also working, I think it was the owner’s son. Fortunately, however, I got “Mr. Unsmiley” to serve me. He found the small part I needed and literally tossed it across the counter, almost like he was angry about selling it (no kidding)! I persisted in smiles and we struck up a little conversation about the possible problem in my vehicle. I then thanked him for the good service with a big smile. And you know what? He smiled back! I think this was the first time ever I had seen him smile! The Smile Back Principle worked! What this made me realize also was
If you are smiling, it will be easier to find something complimentary to say. And if you find something complimentary to say, you will find it easier to smile.
I also visited the local grocery store. The checkout clerk (younger fellow) seemed more than happy to joke around after I greeted him with a smile and a joking comment about a product at the checkout. I think people in this type of job greatly appreciate a smile.
This day featured me working with my distance ed classes from home. Again, no contact with people outside my family. And I was quite busy most of the day so I had little time for interaction. Besides my kids returning smiles (except for my oldest, who was in a funk), my wife decided to do a bit of spring cleaning in the evening, taking all the pictures off walls and items off shelves, which I appreciate. But . . . then she got the wive’s remodeling itch! Uh oh! There was talk of new paint, changes to the walls, and more. And once this gets going, who knows where it might end! But I kept up with the smiles, and tried to be agreeable. And you know what, maybe it worked! Fingers crossed, we may get by without repainting and other work!
On this day, I was treated to a day of job in-service. This is where you listen to speakers all day long. Honestly, there are a lot of eyes glazed over on such days. But, this provided me some unique opportunities with this experiment. I was able to get some smiling in at our table, and several employees I never met before seemed to respond positively. I think what was more groundbreaking was that I was included in a group of coworkers going out to lunch – in fact it seemed like they really wanted me along. I say this is groundbreaking because I have, in the past, been conveniently excluded from such outings – and frankly, that was kind of tough to take! But I have, through this experiment, learned that
People like to be around smiling upbeat people and will avoid mopey negative people. If you want to be included, smile. It is almost impossible to be mopey and negative while you smile!
On the way home, I stopped at a store and the checkout lady seemed to be in quite a somber mood. As I departed, I answered her very subdued “Thank you and have a good day” with a big smile and my own “Thank you”. It was as if someone flipped a switch – this lady just lit up with a big smile in return.
This day featured a community meeting in the evening where I took the opportunity to smile and greet, by name, another person that I believe may never had greeted me otherwise, at least on this given night. So smiling worked here!
Otherwise, my distance ed courses kept me busy at home, but I smiled as much as possible to my wife and kids. My mother-in-law stopped by again to see my wife and watch a movie. I greeted her with a smile and as usual, she seemed to greatly appreciate this.
Overall, kind of a slow smile day. But tomorrow I will have the opportunity to cover lots of new ground!
