Archive for the ‘The 15 Day Smiling Experiment’ Category
On Day 14 I ran some errands in town and had some interactions with several store clerks. The first was a clerk that I had seen many times before. She seemed distraught and came off as very unfriendly. My reaction, however was not to assume this was somehow a reflection on myself (like I would have in the past), but rather to be concerned for her. I knew that something was bothering her. Who knows? She could be battling some serious illness or facing some other problem or loss. I encountered another store clerk at Walmart that seemed to be walking-on-the-clouds happy. This second clerk was all smiles and friendly to everybody. Made me think that if this person could be that happy working a job like that, then I have no excuse! Somehow, however, I would bet this second store clerk will get promoted or move on to a higher position.
Since the last day was part of a family trip, I thought I would include the whole weekend in this final update. Our first day of the trip involved travel and stay at a hotel. The hotel clerks at Days Inn gave me a smile even before I could give them one! It was a fun night of swimming and hanging out with the family.
The next morning, I spoke with a few people and the hotel night manager at breakfast in the lobby. They were all cheerful and I think the manager appreciated a friendly smile and compliment. It is easy for people on vacation to smile back at you.
We then drove on to our destination of the people our in-laws. And now the challenge would begin. One of the people we were visiting has, in the past, said things to me that were somewhat critical and even upsetting . So I was a bit worried about this. In fact, I was so stressed out about making this visit that I had stress-related headaches for two days straight before departing on our trip! I would like to say that my smiling just cured everything. But the smile back principle didn’t seem to work here. Yet, somehow this time things turned out OK and unlike other times, I did not feel insulted. Just like with the first checkout lady mentioned in the top paragraph, I began to empathize with this in-law. This was not my problem. And the only thing that I need worry about is my own behavior.
Smile, be considerate, have good manners – if that does not work, then you at least know you tried your best and you can then come to the realization that perhaps the other person is dealing with many of their own struggles. If nothing else, you brightened up that person’s day in some small way.
On these two days, my wife continues to enjoy the smiles I give her and returns them back.
My mother-in-law has been by to visit with my wife a lot more lately – almost every day. That is a great thing since otherwise my mother-in-law just sits home and doesn’t see or talk to anybody. For sure, this is a quite a nice change.
My middle son continues to smile back at the smiles.
I posted these two days together since I did not get to the computer yesterday 
On this Memorial Day we all went to a gathering at a local park to have a cookout and play outdoor games and visit. It was a very enjoyable time as the weather was very nice. Smiles helped but I think most folks were already in a very smiley mood.
Back at home, we had an enjoyable evening with the wife and kids. A fun day all around, with or without the extra smiles!
Yesterday, something happened that was perhaps neater than anything so far in these smiling experiments: My mother-in-law was over and my oldest son gave her a hug after my wife said for him to do this! (And this was very unusual!) Weather my smiling had anything to do with it, I am not sure, but I know my mother-in-law has been so much cheerier to not only me but my wife (her daughter) since I started this whole project. And I think it is starting to have an effect on my oldest son as well!
Otherwise, yesterday we were at church and my wife and I had a nice time at service. After church my wife and her mom went to town. And in the evening we all spent some time together as a family.
All in all it was a nice day.
This was perhaps the most un-smiley day of this 15-Day experiment! My wife was babysitting for a friend all day and I had to do a lot of errands she would have done, clean up around the house, mow all the lawn, and some gardening work. And the kids were mostly gone. So I was dog tired and my wife was tired as well when she got home. Frankly, I was wondering if we would get any smiling in at all! But then, at about 10:15PM I got in some smiles at my wife, and she returned a bunch back!
It was kind of nice to know that smiling can work on even the days where two tired spouses are in an un-smiley mood!
On this day I was somewhat busy around the house, but managed to get some grins in at my wife and kids. As usual, my wife was very receptive to getting a smile, giving one back. My second son also was again very responsive to smiles, giving one back nearly every time.
I stopped by my inlaws again and worked on a garden plot that we share, weeding and mulching. I got in a few smiles at my mother-in-law and she once again seemed to appreciate them greatly. This whole smiling experiment seems to have affected her in a very good way, even though I am only one person she sees on occasion. And it has taught me a lot about myself as well.
On this day, I took a trip into town to take my youngest son in for gymnastics while I stopped at a few stores. Once again, I found the store clerks to be very responsive to smiles. And once again, the older lady at the Walmart I stopped at seemed to absolutely love being greeted by name, with a smile. So if you want to make some store clerks day, try this!
My wife was very tired when she got home and not too responsive to much of anything. She was up most of the night with my youngest daughter and then had to take her in for a minor surgery very early. The only thing she wanted to do was get to bed and catch up on her sleep! Moral of the story: Don’t expect dog-tired people to be too cheerful. I know I wouldn’t be too cheerful if I were that tired.
I was sort of busy yesterday and did not have a chance to post. So I will post to report on both Day 5 and Day 6.
Day 5 featured some challenges. My wife all of a sudden started making all kinds of requests: Paint the walls, fix the door, move this, build that, do this, do that. It gets a little overwhelming (for me) but I kept the smile and by later in the day all was happiness and bliss.
Day 6 was a nice day in that I was able to spend some great time with most of my kids. Two middle boys helped me with some yard work, then 3 of my kids and myself played a board game and then we all went swimming. Don’t know if smiling had too much to do with this, but I am sure it didn’t hurt. I am still smiling at my oldest son, and at least he is acknowledging me now, although I am not getting a smile back.
My wife took our youngest into the doctor, and while in town stopped at the Menard’s home store and picked up some brochures on kitchen counter tops. Of course you can imagine where this is leading to? A complete kitchen remodel! Not that I am against the remodel, but right now is not the best time in light of the fact that other things are planned this summer. But I was able to explain all that would be involved and we were able to agree on holding off. A smile or two did not hurt here either!
To my wife’s delight, I shaved my beard this day.
Well I got out of the house this day. Went to church and then a church event. Smiles went a long way at church, as they usually do. And even though my wife showed up late (I bring the kids to Sunday School and my wife drives separate) I returned her smile with a smile rather than a grimace as she waltzed in while service was already going. At the event I found myself spending most of my time with my wife at the event. What a concept huh? Spending time with your spouse! It made me realize that spouses often “do their own thing” more than they should. And I also realized that without that first smile at church, I may have not ended up spending the time with my wife later.
I dropped over at the inlaw’s house. Gave my mother-in-law a smile and greeting. She really seems to like me now. And I have the Original 30-day Smiling Experiment to thank for that.
Smiling at the kids proved to be a good thing once again this day.
