Posts Tagged ‘in-laws’
On Day 14 I ran some errands in town and had some interactions with several store clerks. The first was a clerk that I had seen many times before. She seemed distraught and came off as very unfriendly. My reaction, however was not to assume this was somehow a reflection on myself (like I would have in the past), but rather to be concerned for her. I knew that something was bothering her. Who knows? She could be battling some serious illness or facing some other problem or loss. I encountered another store clerk at Walmart that seemed to be walking-on-the-clouds happy. This second clerk was all smiles and friendly to everybody. Made me think that if this person could be that happy working a job like that, then I have no excuse! Somehow, however, I would bet this second store clerk will get promoted or move on to a higher position.
Since the last day was part of a family trip, I thought I would include the whole weekend in this final update. Our first day of the trip involved travel and stay at a hotel. The hotel clerks at Days Inn gave me a smile even before I could give them one! It was a fun night of swimming and hanging out with the family.
The next morning, I spoke with a few people and the hotel night manager at breakfast in the lobby. They were all cheerful and I think the manager appreciated a friendly smile and compliment. It is easy for people on vacation to smile back at you.
We then drove on to our destination of the people our in-laws. And now the challenge would begin. One of the people we were visiting has, in the past, said things to me that were somewhat critical and even upsetting . So I was a bit worried about this. In fact, I was so stressed out about making this visit that I had stress-related headaches for two days straight before departing on our trip! I would like to say that my smiling just cured everything. But the smile back principle didn’t seem to work here. Yet, somehow this time things turned out OK and unlike other times, I did not feel insulted. Just like with the first checkout lady mentioned in the top paragraph, I began to empathize with this in-law. This was not my problem. And the only thing that I need worry about is my own behavior.
Smile, be considerate, have good manners – if that does not work, then you at least know you tried your best and you can then come to the realization that perhaps the other person is dealing with many of their own struggles. If nothing else, you brightened up that person’s day in some small way.
This Easter Sunday had us in church. I smiled at friends and most smiled back, as usual. But one thing that jumped out at me this day was that I found myself having a different outlook on those people I noticed that were not smiling at all: instead of worrying about me (why are they not smiling at me?), I shifted my focus to them and the possible difficulties and struggles they may be facing. There are situations where a person just can’t smile, no matter how hard they try. And there was at least one such person I spoke with.
Back at home, we celebrated my youngest son’s birthday. It was an enjoyable time for all our family and my wife’s parents (If you are wondering why we see so much of my wife’s parents it is partially because they live next door). Everyone was smiling, including me of course. Even my oldest teen at times. It was a fun afternoon. It is difficult to know if my smiling had an effect since it was a naturally smiley day. At any rate, I am quite certain that my added smiles did not put a damper on the event!
