Posts Tagged ‘mother-in-law’
On these two days, my wife continues to enjoy the smiles I give her and returns them back.
My mother-in-law has been by to visit with my wife a lot more lately – almost every day. That is a great thing since otherwise my mother-in-law just sits home and doesn’t see or talk to anybody. For sure, this is a quite a nice change.
My middle son continues to smile back at the smiles.
I posted these two days together since I did not get to the computer yesterday 
Yesterday, something happened that was perhaps neater than anything so far in these smiling experiments: My mother-in-law was over and my oldest son gave her a hug after my wife said for him to do this! (And this was very unusual!) Weather my smiling had anything to do with it, I am not sure, but I know my mother-in-law has been so much cheerier to not only me but my wife (her daughter) since I started this whole project. And I think it is starting to have an effect on my oldest son as well!
Otherwise, yesterday we were at church and my wife and I had a nice time at service. After church my wife and her mom went to town. And in the evening we all spent some time together as a family.
All in all it was a nice day.
On this day I was somewhat busy around the house, but managed to get some grins in at my wife and kids. As usual, my wife was very receptive to getting a smile, giving one back. My second son also was again very responsive to smiles, giving one back nearly every time.
I stopped by my inlaws again and worked on a garden plot that we share, weeding and mulching. I got in a few smiles at my mother-in-law and she once again seemed to appreciate them greatly. This whole smiling experiment seems to have affected her in a very good way, even though I am only one person she sees on occasion. And it has taught me a lot about myself as well.
Well I got out of the house this day. Went to church and then a church event. Smiles went a long way at church, as they usually do. And even though my wife showed up late (I bring the kids to Sunday School and my wife drives separate) I returned her smile with a smile rather than a grimace as she waltzed in while service was already going. At the event I found myself spending most of my time with my wife at the event. What a concept huh? Spending time with your spouse! It made me realize that spouses often “do their own thing” more than they should. And I also realized that without that first smile at church, I may have not ended up spending the time with my wife later.
I dropped over at the inlaw’s house. Gave my mother-in-law a smile and greeting. She really seems to like me now. And I have the Original 30-day Smiling Experiment to thank for that.
Smiling at the kids proved to be a good thing once again this day.
Well, this was the last day of this experiment, and it sure started out in a not-so-smiley way! My morning cup of coffee tasted like soap, which then gave me an upset stomach. This was followed up by my wife’s requests to fix the dishwasher. And meanwhile, I had a pile of work to do! So no, I was not smiling at the start of the day! But, after running some de-limer through the machine (which only took a few minutes to set up) and getting the dishwasher situation straightened out, things got a bit better!
This was a smiling-at-family day. The results were consistent with past results. In summary – It Works! All-around moods are better in the household. I wish I had video of before and after this experiment because I am certain that this household is a happier place now!
I paid a visit to my father-in-law and mother-in-law. Again, smiles to my mother-in-law communicated something to her that words somehow can not do.
Also, smiled at my oldest teen, but it seemed difficult to get much of any reaction from him this day.
Perhaps the most important thing I learned from this experiment is that:
People that seem to smile the least will benefit the most from your smile.
Somehow, some way, I must continue this experiment indefinitely. I plan to post periodic updates from time to time.
Wow, for some reason it was just kind of hard to smile this day! But I tried. I visited a local bank and got in a smile at the teller, although she first gave me a big smile. There is another teller at this same bank that does not smile at all at anybody. What a difference! I smiled as much as possible with the family, although some of the kids were misbehaving, making it difficult to do so. As I said before, smile when you can . . .
I guess one significant thing related to this experiment was something I realized about my mother-in-law. I never mentioned this but she is nearly deaf but a smile was able to get through that barrier. In fact, that is all that was needed. I would bet a smile could also help you in a foreign land where nobody spoke your language as well. I would conclude that
A smile is a universal communication tool. It cuts across all language barriers and speaks volumes where words can not be spoken.
This day featured a community meeting in the evening where I took the opportunity to smile and greet, by name, another person that I believe may never had greeted me otherwise, at least on this given night. So smiling worked here!
Otherwise, my distance ed courses kept me busy at home, but I smiled as much as possible to my wife and kids. My mother-in-law stopped by again to see my wife and watch a movie. I greeted her with a smile and as usual, she seemed to greatly appreciate this.
Overall, kind of a slow smile day. But tomorrow I will have the opportunity to cover lots of new ground!
This day started with some bumps. Amidst a lot of work to do teaching my distance ed courses from my home office, my wife tried to install some software on her computer that would not work and through a series of events (prompts, popup ads, etc) ended up purchasing a $30 piece of fairly useless software that seems to offer no way for us to get a refund. In other words, we are probably out $30. So my wife was not happy, nor was I. It was tough to get much smiling in early on even though we were not arguing – we were both just a bit upset about being ripped off. But, by early afternoon, things got back on schedule and my wife seemed very happy that I could give her a hug and a smile. This made me wonder – if I wasn’t doing this experiment I may have brooded about that stupid thirty dollars for days! Another reason to think that this experiment should continue indefinitely.
In the evening, we went to the Easter presentation that my wife wanted to see a week prior. And guess who went with us in addition to our two daughters and daughter’s friend? My father-in-law and mother-in-law! I am almost certain that this whole smiling thing played a big part in my mother-in-law being willing to go with us. I am hard-pressed to remember too many other times that my inlaws (both of them) have gone out with my wife and I for anything besides perhaps our kids piano recital or other such event.
This day started with some rough edges. My wife was down with a cold and our kids were doing what kids naturally do, messing up the house, squabbling with each other, and not doing exactly what they were supposed to be doing. So it was hard to get a smile back early on. But, later in the day, my wife did return smiles. I have come to this realization about sick people.
Sometimes you must persist in efforts to bring cheer when the other person is under the weather. Sick people often don’t like to smile back. But keep trying. They need the smile more than anyone.
Later in the day I dropped in to pay a short visit to my in-laws. My mother-in-law was again very cheery towards me! She has, it seems, benefited almost more than anyone from this experiment.
The kids continued to respond in a very positive manner. They seem to like the new me.
On this day my Mother-in-law dropped by again. She was very nice and friendly towards me – about the most ever! I am convinced that this experiment has had a very big effect on her. It also makes me realize how the feeling of being excluded reinforced her own mopey behavior, thus leading to more exclusion. (The vicious cycle).
I noticed even more of a “thawing” in my oldest teen. Almost a smile back!
We had car problems today, which is generally not something you smile about. (At least I haven’t in the past). But on the same note, it is not something one should fret too much about. In the past I would have sulked a bit on this issue but I think this experiment has given me a different outlook. I came to the realization that we are very blessed in that we can afford to have this old (1999) vehicle fixed or even replaced – and that is something to smile about. I ended up charging up the battery and then disconnecting it so the mysterious dome light that comes on by itself would not drain it – this allowed my wife to use it the next morning to make her appointments.
My youngest daughter has been returning very big smiles as of late. This experiment seems to be having a very positive effect on her. Less getting upset I notice. Good to see.
