Posts Tagged ‘smile quotes’
On Day 14 I ran some errands in town and had some interactions with several store clerks. The first was a clerk that I had seen many times before. She seemed distraught and came off as very unfriendly. My reaction, however was not to assume this was somehow a reflection on myself (like I would have in the past), but rather to be concerned for her. I knew that something was bothering her. Who knows? She could be battling some serious illness or facing some other problem or loss. I encountered another store clerk at Walmart that seemed to be walking-on-the-clouds happy. This second clerk was all smiles and friendly to everybody. Made me think that if this person could be that happy working a job like that, then I have no excuse! Somehow, however, I would bet this second store clerk will get promoted or move on to a higher position.
Since the last day was part of a family trip, I thought I would include the whole weekend in this final update. Our first day of the trip involved travel and stay at a hotel. The hotel clerks at Days Inn gave me a smile even before I could give them one! It was a fun night of swimming and hanging out with the family.
The next morning, I spoke with a few people and the hotel night manager at breakfast in the lobby. They were all cheerful and I think the manager appreciated a friendly smile and compliment. It is easy for people on vacation to smile back at you.
We then drove on to our destination of the people our in-laws. And now the challenge would begin. One of the people we were visiting has, in the past, said things to me that were somewhat critical and even upsetting . So I was a bit worried about this. In fact, I was so stressed out about making this visit that I had stress-related headaches for two days straight before departing on our trip! I would like to say that my smiling just cured everything. But the smile back principle didn’t seem to work here. Yet, somehow this time things turned out OK and unlike other times, I did not feel insulted. Just like with the first checkout lady mentioned in the top paragraph, I began to empathize with this in-law. This was not my problem. And the only thing that I need worry about is my own behavior.
Smile, be considerate, have good manners – if that does not work, then you at least know you tried your best and you can then come to the realization that perhaps the other person is dealing with many of their own struggles. If nothing else, you brightened up that person’s day in some small way.
This day featured some interesting events at work. A very shy somewhat introverted (and very intelligent) fellow at work now seems to be one of my better friends there. It almost seems as if my smiling opened up communications greatly. He is the type that will be “seemingly miles away” at times, pondering on some new idea. And truthfully, I can be like that as well! But the smiles serve as a way to communicate – a way to cut through that distraction. Also, I noticed that another fellow that seemed to be sort of lukewarm toward me is now much friendlier.
Smiles will cut through distractions!
Another interesting event occurring at work was when I walked past and greeted a coworker (that I don’t hardly know but often see) on the way to my class. This person had a grimace on their face. And it almost appeared to be permanently in place! I remember when I was a kid my mom warned me not to contort my face in this goofy way I was doing as it would stay that way – through coincidence or something else, I had on this goofy expression in my school photo! At any rate, I stopped making that crazy face! Could grimacing all the time also become a permanent look? For sure I think the negative feelings leading to the grimace could become somewhat permanent.
In my classroom, I found it easier than ever to smile at and with my students, despite the hectic pace to finish our material before semester’s end. It was an enjoyable time of teaching.
Wow, for some reason it was just kind of hard to smile this day! But I tried. I visited a local bank and got in a smile at the teller, although she first gave me a big smile. There is another teller at this same bank that does not smile at all at anybody. What a difference! I smiled as much as possible with the family, although some of the kids were misbehaving, making it difficult to do so. As I said before, smile when you can . . .
I guess one significant thing related to this experiment was something I realized about my mother-in-law. I never mentioned this but she is nearly deaf but a smile was able to get through that barrier. In fact, that is all that was needed. I would bet a smile could also help you in a foreign land where nobody spoke your language as well. I would conclude that
A smile is a universal communication tool. It cuts across all language barriers and speaks volumes where words can not be spoken.
On this day our entire family, and inlaws, attended a community theater production. Generally, at such functions, most all people are in a fairly smiley mood, and this was no different. There was one person, however, that in the past has seemed a bit aloof toward me. Truthfully, I always assumed that this person did not like me for some reason. But on this day, I greeted this person with a smile, by name and this person cheerfully returned a smile. Once again, I believe I found a person with my same mindset (before this experiment) – they don’t smile because they believe the other person does not care for them – in return the other person leaves them alone. The vicious cycle. Through this experiment I learned a valuable lesson:
Never assume a person that appears unfriendly and does not smile or greet you does not like you. It may be that they think you don’t like them. Give them a smile and a greeting by name and you will see how quickly this situation can turn around!
I stopped by our nearby small town auto parts store today. This store is owned by perhaps the most unsmiley person on the face of the earth! There was even a time once where this owner’s unfriendly behavior (and unwillingness to serve me) caused me to leave the store. So this would be the acid test. Would smiling work? I noticed that another fellow was also working, I think it was the owner’s son. Fortunately, however, I got “Mr. Unsmiley” to serve me. He found the small part I needed and literally tossed it across the counter, almost like he was angry about selling it (no kidding)! I persisted in smiles and we struck up a little conversation about the possible problem in my vehicle. I then thanked him for the good service with a big smile. And you know what? He smiled back! I think this was the first time ever I had seen him smile! The Smile Back Principle worked! What this made me realize also was
If you are smiling, it will be easier to find something complimentary to say. And if you find something complimentary to say, you will find it easier to smile.
I also visited the local grocery store. The checkout clerk (younger fellow) seemed more than happy to joke around after I greeted him with a smile and a joking comment about a product at the checkout. I think people in this type of job greatly appreciate a smile.
On this day, I was treated to a day of job in-service. This is where you listen to speakers all day long. Honestly, there are a lot of eyes glazed over on such days. But, this provided me some unique opportunities with this experiment. I was able to get some smiling in at our table, and several employees I never met before seemed to respond positively. I think what was more groundbreaking was that I was included in a group of coworkers going out to lunch – in fact it seemed like they really wanted me along. I say this is groundbreaking because I have, in the past, been conveniently excluded from such outings – and frankly, that was kind of tough to take! But I have, through this experiment, learned that
People like to be around smiling upbeat people and will avoid mopey negative people. If you want to be included, smile. It is almost impossible to be mopey and negative while you smile!
On the way home, I stopped at a store and the checkout lady seemed to be in quite a somber mood. As I departed, I answered her very subdued “Thank you and have a good day” with a big smile and my own “Thank you”. It was as if someone flipped a switch – this lady just lit up with a big smile in return.
More smiles at work with coworkers and students. I guess the one interesting thing I noted was that one student seemed to be joking around more than usual during the break, lightening up the mood. At any rate, I am glad for anything to lighten the mood up. Otherwise, I had a lot to cover this day and it was difficult to get too much smiling in. I tried. Once again, one should always smile when you can, because many times you just can’t.
On this day I paid a visit to the dentist. Before I could even think of smiling, the receptionist greeted me with a great big smile. Folks in the waiting room, on the other hand, seemed a bit downcast. I was able to greet one waiting guy with a smile, but no chain reaction of cheer followed. Once in the dentist chair, I was greeted by a very friendly dentist and assistant. In fact, the two dentists at this facility are both very friendly and smiley all the time. And I think it rubs off on all the staff working for them because everyone at this particular office seems very friendly. This is perhaps one of the reasons our entire family, our inlaws, and just about everybody we know, choose this dentist. A tip for business owners or management, especially those dealing with the public:
When top management smiles, support staff smiles. The entire organization becomes more productive, worker turnover decreases, and customers will flock to your place of business.
I also stopped at a grocery store on the way home. Both the clerk and bagger were receptive to smiles.
On this day I worked from home tending to my distance education courses so I did not get out to see anybody other than family. Up until this point, all my kids except my oldest have responded positively to all this smiling of mine. But on this day, even my oldest teen (17 years old next fall) responded well. And at one point, he even smiled back when I made a joking remark. Perhaps you should watch for this news item on today’s 6:00 news:
Breaking News! Even your 16 year old son or daughter will smile back if you smile at them enough!
Oh yeah, I forgot. A US Census worker stopped by to get our info. I gave her a smile or two. She seemed to really appreciate it. I am sure there are some folks that are not too enthusiastic to provide her the information she needs to get.
I tried something new this day. I recently read that people loved to hear their name. So when I stopped at the store, in addition to smiling I greeted workers by name (since they always wore name badges). The reaction was, for the most part, very positive. A few seemed a bit surprised, but others seemed very pleased to receive such a warm and personalized greeting. Using the name in such a way, along with a smile, seems to advance the relationship from that of strangers to one of casual acquaintances. I also made a point to use my coworker’s names when I could – it is difficult to know if it made any appreciable difference, but I fairly sure it did not hurt any. I didn’t overdo it by the way. I only used their name once. I think if one repeated the other person’s name many times it could make them suspicious or nervous.
A very good friend of mine stopped by in the evening. I would almost call him a best friend. I smiled a bit, but not always. And to be honest it did not seem to matter that much. I have recently come to realize something about really good friends:
Really good friends won’t like you any more if you smile. But they won’t like you any less if you don’t smile.
In other words, really good friends will be there for you even if you are a bit down and out. So if you are fortunate enough to have such a friend, be very thankful.
On this day I paid a visit to our local rural grocery store and hardware store. I don’t know what it is about this grocery store, but it tends to be about the “un-smiliest” place I can think of, short of perhaps a waiting room in a doctor’s office. There is one clerk at this store that will rarely smile at me, nor greet me, and I have been visiting this store for over 15 years! And even the manager can be that same way! I have come very close to confronting the owner on this issue in the past, but I figured that perhaps I was not trying too hard myself (and now I think that indeed that this was the case). At any rate, there were some new, younger, staff working this Saturday afternoon and they also had somber expressions. I put on the smiles at most everyone. One middle aged woman customer kept looking back at me, wondering what I was up to, although I was trying not to look too goofy. But then something kind of neat happened – the clerk broke into a joking mood and several of the employees joined in. Smiles all around! In fact, it was to the point where my father-in-law, who came with me, commented on what “a smiley bunch this was”. My father-in-law, like everyone else, does not know I am conducting this experiment. So I guess this day taught me that
smiles, given away in abundance, can even get un-smiley people to smile back.
In summary, to get a smile, you must often first give a smile. Call it the Smile Back Principle.
Otherwise this day, I visited the local hardware store, which is always filled with smiles. There are at least two very nice, very friendly, joking, fellows working there – I think this always creates a pleasant atmosphere for everyone working and shopping there. I always enjoy visiting this store. Smiles were returned but generally smiles are always returned here so it was difficult to notice any difference.
No big events at the home front. My wife smiled her beautiful smile back at me, as usual.
