Posts Tagged ‘strangers’
I tried something new this day. I recently read that people loved to hear their name. So when I stopped at the store, in addition to smiling I greeted workers by name (since they always wore name badges). The reaction was, for the most part, very positive. A few seemed a bit surprised, but others seemed very pleased to receive such a warm and personalized greeting. Using the name in such a way, along with a smile, seems to advance the relationship from that of strangers to one of casual acquaintances. I also made a point to use my coworker’s names when I could – it is difficult to know if it made any appreciable difference, but I fairly sure it did not hurt any. I didn’t overdo it by the way. I only used their name once. I think if one repeated the other person’s name many times it could make them suspicious or nervous.
A very good friend of mine stopped by in the evening. I would almost call him a best friend. I smiled a bit, but not always. And to be honest it did not seem to matter that much. I have recently come to realize something about really good friends:
Really good friends won’t like you any more if you smile. But they won’t like you any less if you don’t smile.
In other words, really good friends will be there for you even if you are a bit down and out. So if you are fortunate enough to have such a friend, be very thankful.
On this day I paid a visit to our local rural grocery store and hardware store. I don’t know what it is about this grocery store, but it tends to be about the “un-smiliest” place I can think of, short of perhaps a waiting room in a doctor’s office. There is one clerk at this store that will rarely smile at me, nor greet me, and I have been visiting this store for over 15 years! And even the manager can be that same way! I have come very close to confronting the owner on this issue in the past, but I figured that perhaps I was not trying too hard myself (and now I think that indeed that this was the case). At any rate, there were some new, younger, staff working this Saturday afternoon and they also had somber expressions. I put on the smiles at most everyone. One middle aged woman customer kept looking back at me, wondering what I was up to, although I was trying not to look too goofy. But then something kind of neat happened – the clerk broke into a joking mood and several of the employees joined in. Smiles all around! In fact, it was to the point where my father-in-law, who came with me, commented on what “a smiley bunch this was”. My father-in-law, like everyone else, does not know I am conducting this experiment. So I guess this day taught me that
smiles, given away in abundance, can even get un-smiley people to smile back.
In summary, to get a smile, you must often first give a smile. Call it the Smile Back Principle.
Otherwise this day, I visited the local hardware store, which is always filled with smiles. There are at least two very nice, very friendly, joking, fellows working there – I think this always creates a pleasant atmosphere for everyone working and shopping there. I always enjoy visiting this store. Smiles were returned but generally smiles are always returned here so it was difficult to notice any difference.
No big events at the home front. My wife smiled her beautiful smile back at me, as usual. 
On the very first day of this experiment, I made a point to pleasantly smile at most everybody I came in contact with. The results were interesting:
- A fellow that I thought did not much care for me smiled back as I passed him in the hallway. Actually, this was the 2nd or 3rd time I passed by him and smiled.
- Some of my students (I am a teacher) stayed after classes to talk with me. This normally does not happen much. Suddenly I became so much more approachable!
- Overall, I found the reaction from virtually everybody (even strangers) to be very positive. This in turn made my day a bit better.
I will post again in a day or two about tomorrow and the next day as I try this experiment on family members and also I interact with some men at a men’s retreat. They don’t know I am conducting this experiment, by the way! Actually, nobody knows! I will not tell anybody until after the 30 days are over.
